Wei Yingwu is really really sorry about his daughter's marriage
And his feelings are the most important thing
To the New Mrs Yang
Wei Yingwu
.
I mourned all the day before,
now the time has come to part I'm grieving more.
Today a daughter steps out of her father's door
and goes up the wide river in a boat so small.
‘
Growing up with no support,
I tried to give enough love to restore
some balance, but it was you who cared for
your little sister. No wonder when you two draw
apart, endless tears fall.
It ties a knot in my stomach, to be sure,
but this journey could not be put off any more.
.
I worry that you will not know how to perform.
You were so long without a mother, after all,
and now must serve a mother-in-law.
I put my faith in your
new family's tact, to overlook any flaws.
Especially as I have chosen to live honourably-but-poor
and your dowry is not much of a draw,
so I implore you, be demure.
‘
Our parting was today at dawn.
All the composure I managed to restore
in my rooms alone was torn
away. My emotions poured
out of me. As I returned I saw,
my younger daughter at the door
and felt the tears trace my chinstrap down my jaw.
Cultural understanding be damned. This is a poem about two distraught young girls, and the man whose job it is to care for them. Faced with the very real possibility that he is sending a 14(?) year old away from home into a difficult relationship, his best advice is to keep quiet and put up. Faced with the reality of his other disconsolate daughter in front of him, his response is to concentrate on his own feelings.
You can give much more sympathetic readings to this poem, of course. But you don’t have to. The classics don’t always deserve our strenuous multicultural acceptance.
韦应物 送杨氏女
永日方戚戚，出行复悠悠。
女子今有行，大江溯轻舟。
尔辈苦无恃，抚念益慈柔。
幼为长所育，两别泣不休。
对此结中肠，义往难复留。
自小阙内训，事姑贻我忧。
赖兹托令门，任恤庶无尤。
贫俭诚所尚，资从岂待周。
孝恭遵妇道，容止顺其猷。
别离在今晨，见尔当何秋。
居闲始自遣，临感忽难收。
归来视幼女，零泪缘缨流。